After piecing all of the separate videos of my motion graphic together, I ended up with this
I then took this video into my group crit to receive feedback on what others thought.
The biggest problem was the speed and flow: this rendition moves far to quick and the pacing is off. As well as this, I was given other pointers for things I should change to improve the overall video.
Things to change:
 - Darken Kids on Trees faces
 - Change guy to be on same side as previous (panel 20)
 - Slow down the whole tempo
 - 1-2 blend in transitions
 - 3 slow down curtain and blend in
 - pause end of panel 6 longer
 - move texture up on 6
 - Panel 9, narration needs to come in sooner
 - Longer between panel 10 and 11
 - Longer Pause between 13-14
 - Make panel 16 last a lot longer
 - Stop the bounce on panel 17
 - Change transition on 17/18 (both same)
 - Slow down text scenes a lot
 - Panel 21, need to move back man
 - Move man up as walking away 27 and darken
 - 29 fade faces/darken
 - 29 change animation, moves weird
 - SLOW DOWN OVERALL TIMING
 - Add Ambient music
After taking these into consideration, I went back and made all of these changes as well as a few others
 
I carried on this process at least 5 more times, making changes, rendering out the video, watching it back and taking notes of things to change.
 
So far this is the video I have, I have slowed down the pace a lot and added some ambient music.